You’re Never Too Young For A Model Train Friend

When my son first started clamoring for model trains, as opposed to Thomas and other "children's" trains, I had to make a decision. Did I want to let him play with something that he was supposed to be five years too young to play with?

After much thought, I decided that I wanted to allow him the freedom to explore the hobby at his developmental level and made ways to make it work for him. Some of these ideas might be helpful to you.

First, I made sure that we were all clear on what are model trains and what are toy trains. Model trains run on electricity. Toy trains either run on batteries or are pushed/ pulled by hand.

Since every toy is a person to a child, I gave each type of train a personality defined by the type of play it could tolerate. Wooden trains are outgoing and like to biff and bash each other. They like to meet people and see the world. Battery operated trains prefer to haul freight on their tracks but do enjoy going along in the car for company. They don't mind the occasional derailment or crossroads mishap but they don't like to biff and bash. Model trains really just want to stay home and run their branch lines. They don't like derailing or crashing and get very upset if they are biffed or bashed. Woodens and battery-operateds without their batteries like to sleep with their person. Model trains only sleep in their sheds. None of them take baths.

This made perfect sense to him. He agreed that he didn't want to hurt or upset any of his friends by making them do things they didn't like to do. He still tried to biff and bash the battery-operateds. We still had to put up a shed next to the bed for the model trains so they could sort of sleep together and we had to find him a plastic train that loved baths. We expected it. He's a kid. But it gave us a consistent rules framework that we could keep referring back to and gave him a reason to work with the rules instead of defy them.

I found him model trains that I didn't have to have a meltdown over when he broke them. At three years old, it was all supervised play. At four, I made it clear to him that mishandling (that would be biffing and bashing behaviors) the model trains meant that they would go into protective custody to keep them safe (that would be time out).

Then we set him up a track and let him run them.

We took him to as many model train shows and stores as possible so he could see model trains in their natural environment. He saw how they chuffed along on their branch lines without anybody picking them up or blocking the tracks. He saw how the model railroaders handled them and how gentle they were when a train did need help. He learned how to respectfully handle model trains.

It worked. Biffing, bashing, and crashing toys is normal behavior during childhood. When he started rough play with the delicate trains, we redirected him to the wooden trains. Today he decides which type of trains he wants to play with based on what type of play he feels like.

Keep in mind that "gentle play" is a relative statement. What he finds amusing still gives adults the heebie-jeebies. I'll never forget the squeals of delight that drove me to investigate.

 I discovered that a flatbed full of tuna had caused a feeding frenzy among the engines and they were all piled up in the middle of the layout board, completely satiated after the feast. I can only imagine the actual event.

No trains were injured during the game so we just changed play to the woodens and let the model trains sleep it off.

I can truthfully say that the tally of completely broken model trains is much lower than the tally of broken kid toys. We don't worry about lost bars, bells, or smokestacks. It hasn't been any more expensive than buying those kid toys, either.

I believe that the hobby of model trains will grow with him rather than being outgrown by him. It's been a win all around. I think we made the right decision.